Silence is Golden – Don’t talk about love, just love

When one gets involved in spiritual practice, one often comes across people who seem to be full of love. They seem to bask in some sort of divine light. They are full of smiles and hugs, continuously wish everyone the most beautiful things and never let a moment go by to express how wonderful everything and everyone they meet is.

The longer I practice, the more – forgive me for being frank – these people start to bother me. Why all this talk about love? Why all these flowery words filled with rainbows, unicorns and sunshine? Are they trying to make up for something? Or maybe trying to hide something? If you are full of joy, just feel joy, why this urgent need to put it into words? Isn’t the feeling of joy in itself enough of a blessing? And if you really love someone, he or she can just tell by the look on your face, by a simple smile or the touch of a hand. When you really love other people, you feel it, and they will feel it too. If you are confident enough, they will be able to tell just from your composure. As my Buddhist teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh always says: “Love is every step,” Or – to make a more mundane reference – remember that old Ronan Keating song: “The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me wherever I fall / You say it best, when you say nothing at all.”

Are the love gurus maybe afraid? Afraid that others might not see their love? Maybe they are just looking for approval. Maybe they are actually feeling a lack of love and are trying to make up for it? Maybe they are afraid that the feelings inside of them might disappear? They hope that by putting it into words or hugs, they will make it permanent, not remembering the opening lines of Lao Tze’s Tao Te Ching: “The word that can be named, is not the real word.” Or maybe they are afraid that what they are feeling inside is not really love at all, but just some fleeting pleasant – self-centered – feeling caused by others, instead of the strong – selfless – feeling of good will and connection directed towards others that love really is. But naming it love, is not enough to make it into real love.

It sounds a bit cheesy, but it's true

Just love and don’t talk too much about it. Trying to grasp it will only make it slide through your fingers. Love and be confident. Don’t think too much about it. Be confident that the energy you send out to others will somehow make a difference. Ama et fac quod vis, Saint Augustine says, ‘love and do as you will’. Just love and everything you do will be a manifestation of that love. No need to go around and try to prove it to everyone. That may just hide insecurity. Love is natural. Love happens naturally. No need to get too excited. Love is not some talk, love is not even some action, love is a way of looking, a way of being. This kind of love, is a love that needs no prove, it proves itself. Feeling it is enough. There is no need to talk. Just love.