Soulful Sadhak

Social media these days are full of people with beautiful, athletic and strong bodies doing the most impressive yoga poses. As I was stuck in bed for the past two months (and one more month to go at least) with an injury, it was a great reminder to me that yoga is not about how acrobatic you can be. In fact, the past months I might have learned more about yoga than during all those years of practice without injury. Yoga was very much what kept me going during this time of inconvenience. "What do you mean?" I hear you think, "How can you practice yoga with a broken foot?" Well, you perfectly can, I found out. I still had a body, that I could move around, maybe with some limitation. However, it became an exploration to see how I could move my body with the limits I had, and how I could - in doing so - bring ease and comfort to body and mind. And isn't that what yoga is all about? Practicing yoga with a broken foot Yoga to me is about being embodied, about the joy ...

Today is an auspicious day, I am turning thirty. Thirty years I have walked this planet, and I am still alive (and kicking!). What an achievement! Society tells me I should celebrate with lots of alcohol to forget all the worries and doubts about my slowly decaying body and the direction my life is going, but rather than that, I would like to take some time to sit down and reflect. Thirty, and feeling younger than ever! I have the impression many people around me dread the day they turn thirty, as if somehow now they are ‘old’ and there life will be over. There seems to be an aversion towards ageing in our society that keeps proclaiming in movies and advertisements the possibility of an eternal youth if we just use the right hair lotion and buy the right fancy car. For me however, it is nothing like this. I have actually been looking forward to the day I am leaving my twenties and the illusion of this so called ‘eternal youth’. I feel I am ready for it, bring it on, being a thirty...

Do not fail your New Year's resolutions, rather make a resolution to fail, and to learn from it and grow. It is New Year today. All over the world people are making resolutions for the new year. And soon all over the world, people will be failing to keep them as well. Why? Why do we go through the effort of making these resolutions every year, and why do we so often give up on them? What is so enjoyable about this game of trying to force ourselves into doing things we probably know we will never do anyway? I think most people make resolutions because they feel they have to. They are unhappy with themselves about something and feel pressured by their peers or society, or just by themselves, to change. There is no joy in their resolutions, rather, they try to push themselves into doing things which they actually dislike doing – such as eating less, watching less Netflix – just because they feel guilty about doing them. These kinds of guilt feelings however, are rarely a good foundati...

I have been studying and practicing many different kinds of religion and spiritual practices for some years now, and I recently discovered there is a big scam going on. I saw it in many people, in how they behaved, talked and walked, but I mostly saw it in my own approach to spiritual practice. What does religion really teach? The thing is, what often happens when people turn to a certain religion or practice – whether it be radical Islamism or seemly harmless meditation practice – is they think they have found ‘The Way’. They think their old ways were wrong and that they have to change and become a different person. They might even start proselytizing feverously – much to the annoyance of others – or – in the worst case scenario – become violent or aggressive towards people who think differently. The primary violence however is in our own heads, the primary violence we direct towards ourselves. You see, the moment people give themselves to a particular path, they go a bit crazy. Somet...

Al jarenlang lijd ik aan sociale angst. Voilà, het is eruit. Mogelijk verbaast dat u. Ik denk niet of dat ik dat al aan veel mensen heb verteld. Om eerlijk te zijn, ik heb het ook jarenlang bij mezelf ontkend en gedaan alsof het er niet was. Theorie Sociale angst of sociale stress is een conditie waarbij de eenvoudige aanwezigheid van andere mensen je stresseert. Sociale angst is meer dan gewoon verlegenheid. Het is een pathologische aandoening waarbij je je moeilijk kan ontspannen in de aanwezigheid van anderen en je je constant zorgen maakt over hoe je je moet gedragen. Het is pathologisch in die zin dat je rationeel beseft dat het onzinnig is, maar dat je er geen controle over hebt. Je lichaam interpreteert de aanwezigheid van anderen eenvoudigweg als een stressprikkel, als een bedreiging. Voor mensen met deze conditie is het vermoeiend om zich onder de mensen te begeven. Ze moeten steeds op hun hoede zijn. Hechte vriendschappen sluiten is moeilijk, laat staan relaties. Als kind of...

I live simply I have enough I am enough Ik stootte onlangs op dit citaat. De eerste twee zinnen zijn altijd relatief makkelijk voor mij geweest, de derde veel minder. Eerst wou ik hier een zenmeester worden, die altijd alles onder controle had en altijd zijn rust bewaarde. Toen ik erachter kwam dat dat nastreven veeleer een averechts effect had en ik juist de dingen op me af moest laten komen, begon ik eindelijk meer rust te ervaren. Maar toen ik die rust dan had, dacht ik dat het tijd was om mij op iets anders te richten, meer bepaald op ‘de ander’ en dat ik meer mijn best doen om sociaal te zijn en er te zijn voor anderen. Maar ook daar, hoe meer ik het probeerde, hoe meer moeite het me kostte en hoe verder ik van mijn doel verwijderd leek (Hoe doe je dat, ‘er volledig voor een ander zijn’, klinkt vrij onmogelijk eens je erover begint na te denken.) Tot ik las: I am enough. Gijs, je bent zoals je bent en je bent genoeg, sociaal genoeg, empathisch genoeg. En dat is niet perfect, maar...

Sometimes I sit and look at all the stupid things I’ve done So many years it took and only so far I have come Sometimes I want to let go sit back and let it all be If I just would not struggle so maybe one day I’d be free Sometimes I really feel sore but also feel great relief as if I will suffer no more Those times great grace I receive     For as long as I will fight and struggle to change God’s plan I know I’ll not sit down and write: I live my life as a free man

Today I faced my biggest fear. What could that be, would one think. What could a healthy 25 year old, who lives in a peaceful and quiet Buddhist monastery in the sunny south of France of all places be afraid of? There are no drugs and violence here, not even stress and competition, only some rats and an occasional shower. What could there be scary here? Are you afraid to look inside your mind? Well my dear friends, the most scary thing in the world is actually quite close, especially here, it's there all the time, waiting for you behind the corner, until one day you run into it, or rather, it hits you when you stop running for it. The most scary thing there is... is your own mind.  You see, usually we are too busy too look into our own minds, usually we are running around like headless chickens, trying to achieve this, or wanting to get away from that, stuck in some form of stress or some idea that keeps us going. But once we slow down and see, really look our mind in the eye, then...