Meditative meanderings on the piano

I have started playing the piano again, only this time I am unlearning instead of learning the piano. When I was a child, I studied the piano, but it was always quite stressful for me, as I was always afraid of making mistakes and never fully content with the way I played.

Could I approach the piano in a totally different way? This had to be through improvisation, where there are no prescribed notes to follow, so it is also not possible to make mistakes. My goal in playing is not to create anything, rather to let go of all expectations and patterns while playing, and just play what comes up intuitively in the moment.

The goal is not to perform well or write a nice piece of music, but to be fully present in the moment, with my own emotions and state of being, and play notes that resonate and interact with that and see where that leads me. The question is not: does this sound good? But rather: does this note that I play truly, honestly reflect how I feel in this moment? What is the note that wants to come next and how does that make me feel now? In this way, playing the piano becomes more like a meditation, or therapy. It is like the Zen practice of aimlessness, mindfully and carefully observing whatever is alive.

You can find some first recordings on my Soundcloud, and more will follow soon.